Why it is Important for Children to Obey their Parents
“[1] Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. [2] Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) [3] That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. [4] And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. - Ephesians 6:1-4
In a world where children increasingly run the show in families, it’s no wonder we see a spoiled, entitled society. Many American children grow up having their every wish granted because parents believe the lies about “hurting their self-esteem” and “want to give them every opportunity they want.”
Seeing that we’re all born in Adam’s sinful image (Rom 5:12-14), the only thing unsaved children are entitled to is Hell and the only thing they need to esteem is the Lord Jesus Christ, not themselves.
Sound cold? The reality is that we live in a present evil world with people dying and going to Hell all around us, but God through His Son Jesus Christ offers us all the opportunity to be saved by His grace if we trust in His finished work on the cross to pay for our sins (Gal 1:4, Rom 3:21-28).
God has designed an order for the home. Marriage provides unity for the growth of not only the husband and wife, but for their children as well. Regardless of what society or Christian culture might tell you, husbands/fathers, as the head of the wife and of the home, are the ones responsible to bring up their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Eph 5:22-33, Eph 6:4). When fathers fail to lead in this area, children will be provoked to wrath.
When children are unruly or disobedient, look first to their father (Titus 1:6). It’s his responsibility to lead and love his family in the Lord. The goal for fathers is to provide fertile ground for children to grow into mature saints. Yet, while every father will fall short in this category, God is very clear that children are to obey their parents in all things. Look at these examples:
“[20] Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.” – Col 3:20
“[28] And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; [29] Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers, [30] Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, [31] Without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful: [32] Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.” – Rom 1:28-32
“[1] This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. [2] For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, [3] Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, [4] Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;” – 2Ti 3:1-4
“[12] Now the brother shall betray the brother to death, and the father the son; and children shall rise up against their parents, and shall cause them to be put to death.” – Mar 13:12
While children shouldn’t sin in fulfilling obedience to their parents, as their foremost obedience is to Christ, the instruction for children to obey parents persists regardless of whether or not the child agrees with the parent’s decision or the parent’s behavior/performance as a parent. Disobedience to parents is a sin and is worthy of death (Rom 1:28-32).
Consider the fact that God has chosen to reveal Himself to us as a Father. He could have chosen anything, but He purposefully chose to be a Father. When children rebel against their parents, they are rebelling against God and the institution He ordained. Disobedience to parents reflects the human problem with authority and man’s constant rebellion against God (Rom 3:18). Like Satan when he fell from heaven trying to be like the most High God (Isa 14:14), children try to ascend above their role in the family which only produces chaos (and hopefully a swift judgment from the parents).
Now, under grace, there is no biblically appointed age to when a child is “grown-up” and no longer a child, but regardless of age, Christians are still called to “honor thy father and mother” regardless of how old they are. The respect that fathers and mothers deserve is not based on performance, but because of who they are. Like the military, subordinates salute the higher-ranking officer because of their rank, not their likability.
We honor them because it is right, for the sake of Christ (Eph 4:32). Just as our position in Christ’s body and the way God views us doesn’t change based on our performance, the same goes for how we all should treat our parents with honor.
