An Apology for Acquiescing into Apathy
I’ve waited a long time to write this email. It’s challenging to write because admitting failure is never fun, but it’s a necessary step in growth.
Failure is humbling. It presents us an opportunity to remember Christ’s sufficient grace and that Christ’s power is strong when we are weak (2Co 12:9-10). By God’s grace we can keep pressing toward “the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus” (Php 3:14).
Anyways, I wanted to write this to say that I’m sorry. Fellowship is paramount and I’ve not been spiritually present to many of you, my friends and my family. My spiritual zeal has waned as a result of my life choices the last few months and because of that, I have not made the efforts I should to grow personally and help others grow. I have no one to blame but myself, and if you’ve been on the receiving end of my flesh I am deeply sorry.
None of you need me, my articles, or to be involved in a Bible study with me to grow: you are complete in Christ (Col 2:10). But, writing articles and leading a Bible study the last few years have been great channels for me to engage in amazingly edifying conversation with many of you. Those areas have been lacking in my life and if you haven’t noticed, the last four months have been mostly radio silent from me.
Well, what happened? I hope that in briefly sharing some mistakes and things I learned (or had to re-learn) you can avoid similar mistakes for yourself.
As many of you know, four months ago I moved to Florida. Simultaneously, a company I started last year gained some traction and took off. I found myself working two jobs amidst moving all while realizing that a new Bible study wasn’t going to start itself. Shamefully, I postponed starting a new Bible study until “things settled down”.
It’s all fine and dandy until the excuse that “it’s only for a season” turns out to be a new habit, a new priority, and a new lifestyle. Kicking the responsibility can down the road never results in good outcomes.
While we don’t fall within the direct audience of 1 John, directed toward Israel’s little flock, there’s a popular verse in that book about worldliness that effectively summarizes the trap I fell into and how our flesh can veer us off course from Christ:
“For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world” – 1Jn 2:16
Even though in my mind I knew that the world would never satisfy me, I deceived myself and believed I could give 110% to two jobs, ministry, and the important relationships in my life. I know now, more than ever, that I 110% can’t. Paul’s inner battle between the flesh and the spirit in Romans 7 sure is relatable!
While our salvation is by grace through faith without works, faithfully serving Christ requires work. Our life, time, energy, and affections are already Christ’s: we need to act like it (Col 3:3, Gal 2:20, Eph 2:8-10). Here are a few important lessons I learned through my failure to prioritize faithfulness to God over the last few months:
Don’t let dynamic times of your life prevent you from spending time studying God’s word. This is not just reading, as it’s easy to trick yourself into checking the flesh-pleasing, self-righteous religious box by spending a few minutes in the Bible and thinking you’re pretty good. Bust out the Bible, journal, and concordance (or Bible study software) and make an outline, even if it’s just for yourself (2Ti 2:15, 3:16).
Pray. It keeps your heart convicted about things of the Spirit, your mind on eternal things, and it strengthens your inner man (Php 4:4-9, Eph 3:14-21).
Be involved with other believers and evangelize to make new ones. Being isolated from other believers or from evangelism efforts is a surefire way to grow more apathetic and not see the need in ourselves or those around us.
Hold fast. Make time for studying the Bible, prayer, and fellowship. Observe your life. How much of your time and money is spent concerning yourself with fun experiences, entertainment, job prestige, money, comfort, security, worldly glory or success, physical health, beauty, and other vain worldly things? How much of it is spent on Christ? Letting apathy sneak its way into your life is all too easy. The flesh is weak so you must limit the opportunity to feed it because you will fall. Don’t deceive yourself: you will reap what you sow. (1Th 5:21, Rom 6:11-16, 1Co 3:18, 10:12, Gal 6:3-7)
It is time to awake to righteousness (1Co 15:34).
Starting next Tuesday, January 3, 2023 at 7 pm ET, Jessica and I will be kicking off a new Bible study through Colossians. There are many of you scattered throughout the country that may not have a group of like-minded believers in your area, and because of that, this Bible study will be a hybrid of sorts: virtual and in-person. While it is preferable to be with believers in person, we wanted to create an avenue for those who wish to not compromise sound doctrine that don’t live around us here in Florida.
I will send out an additional email with the first outline and the meeting link to join the virtual meeting.
In closing, there’s a wonderful piece of the song Mosaic by Beautiful Eulogy that nearly brought me to tears recently in the best possible way while I was reflecting on the last few months. Doctrinally sound music has the benefit of teaching and admonishing us, and I hope this does the same for you (Col 3:16):
When I’m overwhelmed, I know I’m in over my head
Fighting with myself, but my opponent is dead
How can we win the battle when we burn deeply within?
Jesus laid down his rights, I can lay down my sin
If He is Lord, all that competes with Him loses
Only He completes me and cuts through the confusion
Of my wants and my needs, my desires and my dreams
His love inspires me to lift my thoughts to higher things
I was called to give my life instead of keep it
There’s nothing worth keeping if its keeping us from Jesus
In our weakness is where the gospel meets us
The beauty of redemption revealed in broken pieces
